Saturating myself in the Words of Life (the Bible).  It's almost too much to take in, but at the same time, can't get enough.  In speechless awe. 

If God was this big back then, then isn't He this big today?  Can't He still heal the blind, grant boldness, send the Holy Spirit with tongues of fire, cast out demonic spirits, and raise the dead through the power of the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, as spoken by His disciples?  Or don't we believe in that God anymore?  Don't we believe that we are "little Christs" anymore?  That we have the same power as Jesus had, and even more?!  Have we created our own "god" that's not really the God of the Bible?  Because the God I read about I'm not sure is the one I've been believing in my whole life.  The "god" of tradition and of "churchiness" that's been passed down to me.  The "god" of religion and outward appearances, and emptiness.  Oh no.  This God, this God of the Bible, this God who sent Jesus and raised Him from the dead, is holy.  This God is powerful.  He shakes things up... literally!  Like, the earth shakes! 

The Bible doesn't say the gifts of the Spirit have stopped.  My church says that.  The Bible says that God is big and powerful and alive, and He can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants, to bring glory to His name. 

Maybe more people would come to our prayer meetings if we actually believed something would happen when we prayed.  If we actually believed that the angel of God would come to let Peter out of jail, believed enough to pray all night long without stopping.  Maybe if we believed, we would see some results.  Maybe Peter would walk in, and we would drop our jaw.  And then scream our heads off and run around telling everyone like a crazy, deliriously happy lunatic and forget to even let him in. 

Don't we still serve that God? 

'Cause if we don't, why bother?  Why put on a show of pretensious religiosity if we don't even believe our God is still real? 

In most of these instances that I've been reading, all it takes is one big miracle to cause people to stand in wonder, and to repent and call on the Name of the Powerful One.  And all it takes for that one miracle is one person who really, truly believes in the ALMIGHTY. 

The power of Jesus is already there.  We just don't believe in it.  Don't call for it.  Don't ask for it.  Why on earth not??

Jesus already promised He'd give us ANYTHING we ask for in His name.  Why aren't we accessing the power? (i.e. living through the power of the Holy Spirit?)

And why aren't we "teaching and preaching without ceasing?"  The religious dudes couldn't get Peter and them to shut up about Jesus.  When's the last time we were told to shut up about Jesus already?  I usually do shut up about Him, when people ask me to.  If they don't want to hear it, I stop preaching.  But why?  Why am I obeying men and not God??  What is there to be afraid of, when we have the God of the universe on our side??

My "I Believe's" for coaching basketball class

I believe that basketball is glorified in American culture, and can thus be used to connect with a wide range of people. 

I believe that a lot of young people, especially young men, find their identity in the game of basketball, rather than what is on the inside. 

I believe that, when coached properly, basketball can teach core values and life skills such as integrity, responsibility, respect, sportsmanship, servant leadership, teamwork, diligence, and perseverance, among many others.

I believe that basketball builds character. 

I believe that basketball reveals character. 

I believe that basketball helps build relationships.

I believe that appropriate physical touch is lacking in American culture.  Young people need to be touched - hugged, high-fived, etc., and basketball offers a healthy response to that problem.

I believe that few players will work their hardest until they know their coach cares about them as a person, or at the least cares about them as an athlete.

I believe that coaches automatically become a role model and should be a positive example and influence to their players.

I believe that coaches should show respect to their players in order to earn respect from their players.

I believe that coaches should love their players and invest in their lives outside of basketball.

I believe that a coach's role often resembles that of parent, mentor, teacher, or counselor, and that a coach should be ready and available to listen.

I believe that most young people will tune out their coaches and teachers until they have been shown, in a way they can understand, that you really care about them.

I believe that coaches should show respect to parents, families, friends, fans, and yes, even referees.  (Especially referees. :))

I believe that technicals never help you. 

I believe that basketball teams should win with integrity and humility, and lose with dignity.  

I believe that cheating, even if never caught, is a bad idea, not only morally and ethically, but also because I love the game of basketball the way it is.  If you don't play by the rules of the game, it is no longer the same game. 

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I believe that basketball can be an effective tool for ministry, outreach, and evangelism.  It can be a powerful springboard to share Christ. 

"If you were to die tonight, and God said, "Why should I let you into heaven?" what would you say?" "'Cuz." "'Cause why?" "'Just cuz.""Just, 'cuz'? You think God is going to let you in heaven because you said cuz." "Yeah, 'cause me and God, we're tight. We're like this. Cuz, you know. Me and God, we're cousins!" (insert me laughing for like 10 minutes...)  "No really, why should he let you in?"  "Idk, i'll have to read it [the basketball-cover Bible I gave him... he said it was bad__, which means he likes it] and get back to you."   
Later..."We should go outside and play football. I wanna see if you can tackle me." (insert me staring him down). "Never mind... you probably would tackle me!  I'd break my leg, then I'd have to go to practice tomorrow and tell my coach I got tackled by a girl.  Then I'd die and say "cuz." (insert me laughing for a week :))

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See, Eve took that apple.  Women are always causin' trouble!

Okay, first, it wasn't an apple.  Second, Adam was there, too, and he didn't say anything to stop her.  He ate it, too!

Nah, he wa'n't there.  He was proly off messin' with some other chick.

God hadn't made any other girls yet!!

Maybe he had, he just didn't tell us.  That's proly why she ate it, she was tryin' to get back at Adam! 

"casting all your cares on Him, for He cares for you."  i was thinking about this verse tonight, and thinking that would take a long time!  sometimes i have so many cares i don't know if i could even name them all to let God take them one by one.  it's like i can't even pray sometimes.  i just tell Him, just take care of it all.  i can't handle it anymore.  "help me Jesus" is about the only thing that comes out. 

ministry is such a funny thing.  it's like, the more I try to get closer to God, and the more I start reading His Word, and the more I start being used of Him to reach others... the more Satan gets mad.  the closer i get to getting through to some of these teens, the more i feel him attacking me.  he's up-ing the battle because he knows how much is at stake.  tempting me towards sins i would never normally be tempted toward, or stronger temptation towards ones i'm already susceptible to... then wracking me down with guilt for my sin (who are you to be ministering to others, when you have such big sins in your own life?)... alternately puffing me up with pride (you're doing such a great job ministering, look at how good you are, it's like you don't even need God) and then casting me down with doubts (you're a failure... you didn't say the right thing, do the right thing.  your timing was off.  your tone was unkind, etc.) and deep discouragement (you can't handle this.  you're just one person.  you're not qualified, you're in over your head.  even when you do the right thing, no one cares.  you're not making any difference).  then when he gets tired of all that, some days he just throws in stupid stuff... like a headache, the furnace or taxes, or losing my patience with chloe.  a friend coming in to talk when I'm trying to read my Bible (which is the interruption?  is this a divine appointment, or satan's distraction... or both??)  and each time i think, seriously?  why is this stuff happening to me?  it's almost ridiculous!  but i realize the answer: satan's trying to use the day to day stuff to wear me down so that there won't be any energy left to minister.  he has so many tactics and he tries all of them!! 

there is this verse in the Bible i was reading the other day, it basically says one bug will ruin the whole cup of coffee.  not in those exact words ;)  but the point is, one devastating sin can ruin someone's whole ministry.  that is why Satan works so hard to pull down people in ministry... if he can get them to mess up in just one way, he can ruin the faith of many others.  so scary.   

it is more than i can deal with.  i know that.  i am in over my head.  i know that, too.  but i will do what i can do and not be afraid, because God is always with me and never leaves me.  I have His strength.  wherever i go, He goes there first.  that thought has been very comforting to me lately.  I don't have to wait for God to show up... He's always early.  By the time I get there, He's already there, waiting for me.  

what a week!  my furnace went out and at one point it was 54 degrees in my apartment.  found out i owed over $1600 in taxes (i am now poor). 

tonight a girl who i've never met told me she loved my laugh.  a guy told his friend that i was a swear-word beast at basketball.  another guy came up to me and told me he'd been smoking marijuana, did i have some gum so his parents wouldn't smell it on his breath?  i think i told him his parents should spank him. 

the internet says 1 out of 5 teens smoke marijuana.  i think at the barn it's like 1 out of 4. 

broke up a few potential fights.  told a kid to put his knife away.  you know, the usual.  told a bunch of kids about Jesus... some didn't understand, a few listened slightly, a few were minorly annoyed... for the most part they just didn't care.  i think i hit one with my Bible.  (not hard or anything, just goofing off 'cause he wasn't paying attention).  he also said he was going to write his own 'bible' and make it easier to understand, and started calling me 'Jesus'.